How often have we heard people tell hurtful men, “She’s someone’s sister, mother, wife, etc.”? This phrase has become so ingrained in our minds that it’s often the first thing we think when we see a woman who has survived the horrific wrongdoings of men. But why do we believe a woman’s value lies only in her relation to a man? That, alone, she is not human enough. Not human enough to be worth caring about. Not human enough to be worth helping. Not human enough to deserve empathy—and never human enough to deserve respect.
What horrifies me most is how casually this phrase slips off our tongues. How easily we erase, as women, our own identities from the world. We don’t think twice before attaching our humanity to some man. And it’s not just this phrase. Phrases like “women are too emotional” or “man up,” often used by other women, break my heart because they show just how dehumanizing we can be toward ourselves.
We’ve internalized misogyny to such an extent that we belittle women without even realizing it. For centuries, this toxic, demeaning mindset has been the foundation of our society. I call it the foundation because societies are made of families and homes. If a child consistently sees a human being belittled and diminished, he internalizes that behavior. He grows up as a by-product of his environment, continuing this cycle of objectifying women as some man’s property.
There’s so much I want to say on this topic: Why is a woman’s humanity reduced to her clothing? Why do little girls have to be taught to run to a woman with children if they are ever in danger from a man? Why does every woman instinctively know to hold her car keys in a way that they can be used to stab an attacker?
If we want future generations of women not to wonder where in history they lost their voices, we are going to have to scream today.
